I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
