Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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