she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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