My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like Iβm in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much Iβm in a relationship with myself.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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