dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
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Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
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His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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