We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
