You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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