So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
