I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
