I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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