I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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