Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
