It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
He better not be in your backpack
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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