now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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