you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
