Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
