my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize