do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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