I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
Randomize
