i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
