he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
two words: eviction party
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
