yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
