speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
