My Higher Power is John Stamos
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
