Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
