who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
i now understand why vodka
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
