Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
