Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Randomize
