All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
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