How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Ketchup is God's man juice
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
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