I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Randomize
