Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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