3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
