why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
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