i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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