Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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