I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
