Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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