Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize