I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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