i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize