She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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