I wish I could teleport
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
