I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
