i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
