So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
