He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
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All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
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I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.