My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.