im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.