Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
my poor anus
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.