KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?