So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
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he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
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At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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