Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Randomize
