she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize