i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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