A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
