Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
