Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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