awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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