thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
