I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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