Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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