And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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