Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
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