from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
