jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize