I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
there is glitter all over my balls
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
